Welcome to 30 university degrees described in one sentence.
歡迎收看“一句話了解三十個(gè)大學(xué)學(xué)位”。
Let's get started!
那就開(kāi)始吧！
Half of the time is spent listening to the same person arguing with the lecturer.
一半的時(shí)間都用來(lái)聽(tīng)同一個(gè)人和講師辯論。
We learn how to create imaginary problems to convenient solutions.
我們學(xué)習(xí)怎么給原本便捷的方法制造富有想象力的難題。
I don't like spreadsheets, but I like money.
我不喜歡做報(bào)表，不過(guò)我喜歡錢。
In nine short years I might be doing the job I actually want.
“短短”九年后，我就能做我想做的工作了。
My time is occupied with helping friends with basic computer issues, before unsuccessfully influencing them that Linux is the superior operating system.
我的時(shí)間都花在幫朋友解決他們電腦的小問(wèn)題上了，但最后也沒(méi)能教會(huì)他們Linux是多完美的一個(gè)操作系統(tǒng)。
I now understand why I'm attracted to my boyfriend.
現(xiàn)在我終于知道自己為什么會(huì)喜歡我的男朋友了。
Welcome to a course that teaches common sense made more complicated with longer words.
歡迎來(lái)到一門用更多文字把常識(shí)搞復(fù)雜后再教授給你的課程。
I'll either find a job at the end of my degree or I'll be the most highly trained criminal known to man.
學(xué)完這門課，我要么可以找一份工作，要么也有可能變成受過(guò)系統(tǒng)訓(xùn)練的史上最著名罪犯。
I justify my six-figure salary, by comprehending the English language slightly better than everyone else.
我要為我六位數(shù)的薪水辯護(hù)，只要比別人多了解一點(diǎn)英語(yǔ)就可以了。
I do twice the work and get half the pay of a doctor because I understand 10% less.
我用兩倍的工作量領(lǐng)半個(gè)醫(yī)生的工資，只因?yàn)樗麄儽任叶喽?0%。
I expected to swim with dolphins but I'm now managing a fish farm.
我曾憧憬能和海豚共游，現(xiàn)在卻在管理漁場(chǎng)。
I tried doing electrical engineering, but it was too hard.
我也試過(guò)學(xué)習(xí)電機(jī)工程，不過(guò)太難了。
I'm only studying this to become iron man.
我學(xué)這門學(xué)科就是為了成為鋼鐵俠。
I'll never get a job, but at least I know how to make my own.
我永遠(yuǎn)都找不到工作，不過(guò)至少我知道怎么樣才能創(chuàng)造工作。
This was my third choice behind law and medicine that my Asian parents would accept.
這是除了法律和醫(yī)學(xué)以外，第三個(gè)能被我的亞裔父母接受的選擇。
I love animals.
我熱愛(ài)動(dòng)物。
I can't wait to put them down all day.
真是“等不及”要整天給他們安樂(lè)死了。
I've referenced the entire internet in the last four days.
在過(guò)去四天里，整個(gè)互聯(lián)網(wǎng)都是我的參考文獻(xiàn)。
I now know how to fix all the world's problems, but no one likes what I have to say.
我現(xiàn)在知道怎么解決全世界的問(wèn)題了，但卻沒(méi)有人關(guān)心我要說(shuō)的。
In only three years I'll be able to get a minimum-wage job in a Western European country.
只要再過(guò)三年，我就能在西歐國(guó)家拿到一份最低薪資標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的工作了。
I now be the most qualified person to cry at my computer for hours on end.
我現(xiàn)在就是最有資格對(duì)著電腦連續(xù)咆哮好幾個(gè)小時(shí)的人。
I'm very boring at parties.
聚會(huì)的時(shí)候我就是最無(wú)趣的人。
I couldn't get into medicine.
我沒(méi)考上醫(yī)學(xué)專業(yè)。
I couldn't get into medicine, but at least everyone in my classes is attractive.
我沒(méi)考上醫(yī)學(xué)專業(yè)，不過(guò)至少我們班里的每個(gè)人都是俊男靚女。
In this profession human beings are the hardest animal to deal with.
人類就是這個(gè)專業(yè)里最難研究的動(dòng)物。
The highlight of my career will be finding a 700 year old male.
我的職業(yè)高光便是能發(fā)現(xiàn)一具擁有700年歷史的男尸。
I'm now able to google problems better than anyone else.
現(xiàn)在，我就是最會(huì)用谷歌的人了。
My friends refuse to call me a doctor.
我的朋友都不愿意叫我醫(yī)生。
Everyone here is either Japanese or owns an extensive katana collection.
學(xué)這個(gè)專業(yè)的不是日本人就是收藏了大量日本武士刀的人。
I'm never getting a job.
我永遠(yuǎn)都找不到工作。
