求一個(gè)英語高手給我翻譯這么一段話~~萬分感謝~~

I thought i was god, it's clear I am not. I lost my soul, my heart and my belief, Im looking for freedom_ I want to be a free person, I would like to lay on the grass enjoying the sunshine, but it looks very difficult. I am well aware that is life. I think I still have not discovered anything or anyone that make me laugh, I still have not discovered anything that be loved and take great pride in. I think I am too pessimistic. One sunshine boy brims with positive energy is more popular. I was , long time ago. Now, I know I live in my dreams doggedly, even is quite alien with the world.

I thought I was God,but obviously I'm not. I losted my soul, my heart and my belief .I'm looking for freedom and I want to be a free person who can rest on the grass in sunny day. But it seems very hard. I know, this is the life. I think I have not found these things which can make me laugh and what i love and what can take pride in. I think I am too pessimistic. I also know, a sunshine boy full of positive energy will be well received. Long long ago, I was. But now, I know, I live in my dreams stubbornly, even be misfit with the world.